The beast stood before me, and I was paralyzed. I didn’t know for sure what to do, whether I should stand and fight, or turn and run. My vision blurred as my mind tried to fight its way through the confusion. Surely, this wasn’t what God wanted.
I don’t know where your mind went when you read that, but my mind travels to several different scenarios: fighting to replace fear with trust in my relationships, trying to discover what my purpose is on this earth, researching to discover how I can best relate to and encourage you.
All of those areas can be so clouded, and I’ve heard more than one person say they wish God would just send them an email with the next ten steps clearly delineated.
Yeah, me too sometimes.
I remember a conversation with one sweet friend who was struggling to figure out where to serve in our church. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do, much less what she was called to do. She desperately wanted to help, but didn’t know where to start.
I think of another friend who knows God gave him a gift but isn’t sure what to do with it. I relate to that with my writing. Am I to do this for a season, or the rest of my life? Will it largely be a ministry where I touch just a few lives, or does God have bigger things in mind? Am I missing something important because I always feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water, or will trusting God for the next step always feel a bit like this?
Good questions to think about, pray about. But they are also questions that can keep us paralyzed in fear or indecision, making the beast appear bigger. More frightening. More superior.
I thought about that for a while, finding it to be true in my life. When I tried things, I found some didn’t work at all for me, others needed modified in some way, and others were a great fit. As I learned some things, other things came into view that helped, giving me insight to the answers to my questions.
I know now that I’m not destined to be the author of only one or two books. With six on the market and one with an editor, I’m under contract for four more and am almost done with yet another. Plus, I’ve got the rough idea for four additional books, and the budding idea of another series.
And the beast that stood before me when I started doesn’t seem quite as impressive now.
Could writing only be for a season?
Maybe, but it’s already gone farther than I dreamed and touched more lives than I hoped. All because I took action—one action at a time, followed by another, followed by another.
Mother Theresa is quoted as saying, “I’ve never had clarity. I’ve only ever had trust.”
I wonder who I look up to that would agree with that statement. Queen Esther? Mary, the mother of Jesus? The Apostle Paul? That seems like pretty good company.
Whatever uncertainty stands before you, whether it’s where to serve in church or a lifelong dream, I’m wondering if you’ll be brave with me and take a step forward in faith—no matter how small, forward progress is still forward progress.
Will you join me?